http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/features/exploring-the-twilight-zone-week-one-wrap-up.php
Bah, I hate not being the only person in the world with an idea (one, admittedly, replicated multiple times)... and not being part of a larger website for the exposure...oh god... motivation... slipping...
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
S1:Ep32 - Passage for a Trumpet
You gotta hand it to Jack Klugman, he plays the part of a loser really well.
This episode is no different, playing a down on his luck trumpet player whose talent was wasted because of the Booze Demon. He used to play with the big guys, but lost it all... all he wanted to do was play trumpet, poor, poor Jack Klugman.
He pawns in his trumpet after being rejected by a former bandmate at a jazz club. Using the money, he starts up a booze bender (like that robot in Futurama) and does what any rational drunk would do: try to kill himself by running in front of a truck.
After he wakes up, he realizes that nobody sees him there... he may be dead. Klugman wanders around the city for a brief period of time and ends up at the jazz club. He hears a trumpet playing in an alley and he walks over. He tells the player that he's good and is shocked when he gets a response. The trumpet player explains that Klugman isn't dead, he's in a sort of limbo where he can decide whether to live or die. Klugman laments not appreciating his life more and decides to live.
Before he goes back, Klugman asks what the trumpet players name is. "Gabe," he responds, "short for Gabriel".
Ol' Kluggy runs back to the place where he was hit and wakes up in his body. The truck driver gives him money not to report it to insurance and Klugman buys his trumpet back. Later that night, Louisville Klugger is on his roof playing the trumpet when a beautiful woman starts talking to him and asks if he can show her around town.
So, real quick, I do have minor issues with the episode... namely, I know Jack Klugman isn't playing that trumpet; it's a bit distracting.
Other than that, I appreciate the message: live your life to the fullest, there are ups and downs, but we deal with it and keep living our lives. I think Klugman conveys that realization pretty well.
The episode deserves 5 of 5 ska bands (Reel Big Fish, Save Ferris, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Suburban Legends, and Aquabats)
This episode is no different, playing a down on his luck trumpet player whose talent was wasted because of the Booze Demon. He used to play with the big guys, but lost it all... all he wanted to do was play trumpet, poor, poor Jack Klugman.
He pawns in his trumpet after being rejected by a former bandmate at a jazz club. Using the money, he starts up a booze bender (like that robot in Futurama) and does what any rational drunk would do: try to kill himself by running in front of a truck.
After he wakes up, he realizes that nobody sees him there... he may be dead. Klugman wanders around the city for a brief period of time and ends up at the jazz club. He hears a trumpet playing in an alley and he walks over. He tells the player that he's good and is shocked when he gets a response. The trumpet player explains that Klugman isn't dead, he's in a sort of limbo where he can decide whether to live or die. Klugman laments not appreciating his life more and decides to live.
Before he goes back, Klugman asks what the trumpet players name is. "Gabe," he responds, "short for Gabriel".
Ol' Kluggy runs back to the place where he was hit and wakes up in his body. The truck driver gives him money not to report it to insurance and Klugman buys his trumpet back. Later that night, Louisville Klugger is on his roof playing the trumpet when a beautiful woman starts talking to him and asks if he can show her around town.
So, real quick, I do have minor issues with the episode... namely, I know Jack Klugman isn't playing that trumpet; it's a bit distracting.
Other than that, I appreciate the message: live your life to the fullest, there are ups and downs, but we deal with it and keep living our lives. I think Klugman conveys that realization pretty well.
The episode deserves 5 of 5 ska bands (Reel Big Fish, Save Ferris, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Suburban Legends, and Aquabats)
S1:Ep31 - Chaser
Ah yes, even in the Twilight Zone we find ourselves with a cautionary tale about making someone love us. A certain Roger Shackleforth finds out the hard way... in the... Twilight... Zone...
This episode is easy to describe... just imagine any story where a dude loves a chick so much but the love is unrequited. So the dude in question happens upon a dealer in love potions to make that girl love him unconditionally. Once the dude realizes how annoying a girl who loves someone unconditionally is, of course he needs to solve his problem. So dude in question goes back to the potion dealer and gets a potion to murder the chick. But the dude does something stupid and screws everything up.
Multiple variations are out there, the dude might accidentally drink the potion, killing himself in the process... and the chick who still loves him doesn't ever want to let him go, so she kills herself too so she can be with him forever in heaven. This variation isn't as cool, since he just ends up being stuck with her forever until he/she dies.
It's kind of a throwaway episode, since it's something I've seen before in movies/tv/National Enquirer, but it's not bad by any means.
I give it 3 love potions out of 9
This episode is easy to describe... just imagine any story where a dude loves a chick so much but the love is unrequited. So the dude in question happens upon a dealer in love potions to make that girl love him unconditionally. Once the dude realizes how annoying a girl who loves someone unconditionally is, of course he needs to solve his problem. So dude in question goes back to the potion dealer and gets a potion to murder the chick. But the dude does something stupid and screws everything up.
Multiple variations are out there, the dude might accidentally drink the potion, killing himself in the process... and the chick who still loves him doesn't ever want to let him go, so she kills herself too so she can be with him forever in heaven. This variation isn't as cool, since he just ends up being stuck with her forever until he/she dies.
It's kind of a throwaway episode, since it's something I've seen before in movies/tv/National Enquirer, but it's not bad by any means.
I give it 3 love potions out of 9
S1:Ep30 - A Stop at Willoughby
The big 3-0... which makes me realize that I neglected to write about the first 15 or so episodes... someday, friends, someday.
This episode focuses on a certain Ad Exec, Mr. Williams... his first name is Gart (not important). After a terrible day at the office, with being beaten down and yelled at, he gets upset.
He gets on a train heading home and falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in the nice town of Willoughby. It's a nice sunny town with kids going fishing, a band playing in a pavillion and an overall friendly place. Before he can get off of the train, it starts moving again and Gart is snapped back into reality; turns out it was a dream.
Gart makes it back home to his stupid, naggy wife. He explains to her how he's not cut out for the lifestyle she wants for him. Instead of a fast paced life of glamour, he dreams to lead the simple life.
The next morning on his way to work, he falls asleep again. He wakes to find the train stopped at Willoughby again... again he admires the town but doesn't get off. Again he finds himself in reality.
That day at work, Gart gets bombarded by phone calls, his boss, his secretary and he has enough. He calls his Nag wife and asks her to help him, he's going to quit... she just hangs up. He decides that next time he's going to get off at Willoughby.
True to his word, he falls asleep on the train and wakes up at Willoughby. He gets off of the train and interacts with the townsfolk who know him by name. What a friendly place!
So, having this be the first time I've seen the episode, I was honestly shocked by the ending.
SPOILER ALERT
After it fades away from Gart, the scene shifts to underneath a bridge in the snow. The Conductor is explaining to the Coroner that Mr. Williams just calmly stood up, walked off the train and fell to his death.
After the coroner puts the body in the hearse, they close the door to reveal "Willoughby and Sons Mortuary".
END SPOILER I GUESS?
I might mention this in a later post... but twist endings can be pretty effective sometimes. It's Twilight Zone, so we're expecting some kind of twist, but that threw me off. I was happily surprised by it, as I was expecting a "he gets off the train and lives in this happy little community", similar to the theme behind "A World of Difference".
Haha, I dig this episode now. In essence, Garts life sucked, and he was contemplating ending it all... Willoughby was essentially his acceptance of suicide. It was as though Willoughby was the thought of suicide; all his stops there were thoughts of killing himself. Once he quit his job and saw that his wife was going to leave him, he figured there was nothing else but the serenity of death.
"Next time I'm going to get off at Willoughby"
Good episode. I give it 4 out of 5.
This episode focuses on a certain Ad Exec, Mr. Williams... his first name is Gart (not important). After a terrible day at the office, with being beaten down and yelled at, he gets upset.
He gets on a train heading home and falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in the nice town of Willoughby. It's a nice sunny town with kids going fishing, a band playing in a pavillion and an overall friendly place. Before he can get off of the train, it starts moving again and Gart is snapped back into reality; turns out it was a dream.
Gart makes it back home to his stupid, naggy wife. He explains to her how he's not cut out for the lifestyle she wants for him. Instead of a fast paced life of glamour, he dreams to lead the simple life.
The next morning on his way to work, he falls asleep again. He wakes to find the train stopped at Willoughby again... again he admires the town but doesn't get off. Again he finds himself in reality.
That day at work, Gart gets bombarded by phone calls, his boss, his secretary and he has enough. He calls his Nag wife and asks her to help him, he's going to quit... she just hangs up. He decides that next time he's going to get off at Willoughby.
True to his word, he falls asleep on the train and wakes up at Willoughby. He gets off of the train and interacts with the townsfolk who know him by name. What a friendly place!
So, having this be the first time I've seen the episode, I was honestly shocked by the ending.
SPOILER ALERT
After it fades away from Gart, the scene shifts to underneath a bridge in the snow. The Conductor is explaining to the Coroner that Mr. Williams just calmly stood up, walked off the train and fell to his death.
After the coroner puts the body in the hearse, they close the door to reveal "Willoughby and Sons Mortuary".
END SPOILER I GUESS?
I might mention this in a later post... but twist endings can be pretty effective sometimes. It's Twilight Zone, so we're expecting some kind of twist, but that threw me off. I was happily surprised by it, as I was expecting a "he gets off the train and lives in this happy little community", similar to the theme behind "A World of Difference".
Haha, I dig this episode now. In essence, Garts life sucked, and he was contemplating ending it all... Willoughby was essentially his acceptance of suicide. It was as though Willoughby was the thought of suicide; all his stops there were thoughts of killing himself. Once he quit his job and saw that his wife was going to leave him, he figured there was nothing else but the serenity of death.
"Next time I'm going to get off at Willoughby"
Good episode. I give it 4 out of 5.
S1:Ep29 - Nightmare as a Child
Ok, back on track... I got sidetracked by some assholes wedding the past week and a half.
Guy - Will you be my Best Man?
Me - I fucking guess, shit man, you're needy.
Anyway, the last episode I watched prior to selling out to the Man was Nightmare as a Child, a scary little tale about a woman who meets a creepy little know it all girl on the steps at her apartment with a little secret...
I told you the setup, but I didn't get to the part where the little girl knows things about the womands childhood... but says them all cryptic like, as if to try to jumpstart a memory OoOOooOoOooo...
The woman gets a knock on the door and there's a creepy, molester looking dude who knows the woman by name... but whom the woman does not know....
Look, I'll just tell you: when the woman was a little girl she witnessed her mothers murder. So she did what all witnesses do, block it out. The guy who came to the door is the murderer and wants to kill the woman before she remembers who killed her mom so she won't go to the police and arrest him... the little girl was the woman all along! It was a manifestation of her as a kid intended to warn!
Ummm... so, my problem with this episode stems from my issues with the murderer. Dude, you had to find the woman after all these years just to murder her... did it ever occur to you that if she didn't remember you, and wasn't looking for you, she wouldn't have ever tried to find you? He might as well have changed his name to Scott Free, because that's what you fucking were, you idiot.
I was bored and I watched this episode 2 weeks ago... I give this episode 1 of 5
Guy - Will you be my Best Man?
Me - I fucking guess, shit man, you're needy.
Anyway, the last episode I watched prior to selling out to the Man was Nightmare as a Child, a scary little tale about a woman who meets a creepy little know it all girl on the steps at her apartment with a little secret...
I told you the setup, but I didn't get to the part where the little girl knows things about the womands childhood... but says them all cryptic like, as if to try to jumpstart a memory OoOOooOoOooo...
The woman gets a knock on the door and there's a creepy, molester looking dude who knows the woman by name... but whom the woman does not know....
Look, I'll just tell you: when the woman was a little girl she witnessed her mothers murder. So she did what all witnesses do, block it out. The guy who came to the door is the murderer and wants to kill the woman before she remembers who killed her mom so she won't go to the police and arrest him... the little girl was the woman all along! It was a manifestation of her as a kid intended to warn!
Ummm... so, my problem with this episode stems from my issues with the murderer. Dude, you had to find the woman after all these years just to murder her... did it ever occur to you that if she didn't remember you, and wasn't looking for you, she wouldn't have ever tried to find you? He might as well have changed his name to Scott Free, because that's what you fucking were, you idiot.
I was bored and I watched this episode 2 weeks ago... I give this episode 1 of 5
Sunday, May 15, 2011
S1:Ep. 28 - A Nice Place to Visit
I decided that if I keep going with this that I should probably organize the way I post, as far as titles are concerned. Instead of trying to come up with something witty, I'll just stick with the basic structure. Nobody cares about the title anyway... or the post in general, whatever.
"A Nice Place to Visit"
Aka, how I feel about Los Angeles. Born and raised there, it's a nice place to visit alright, but I'll be damned if I ever actually live there. This episode carries a similar sentiment.
Henry Valentine is a small time crook, always looking for something to steal, never hitting the big time. During a botched robbery, the police shoot and kill Henry. He awakes to find the police missing and himself alone lying in the street. Confused about what happened, he sees a nice old man in a white suit named Pip, who claims to be Henrys guide in death; a "guardian angel of sorts."
Pip starts to show Henry that he can have anything he wants, whenever he wants; money, women, it's all for Henrys taking. Pip takes Henry to a casino where no matter what he bets, he wins the game. But something bothers Henry... why did he make it into heaven? After having Pip take him to the Hall of Records, it seems as though God made a mistake letting him in... but who is Henry to question the motives of the almighty?
At first, Henry loves all of his winning but gets sick of it after awhile. After all, what's the point of winning if you can't lose? So he calls Pip to complain of his boredom... he wants some excitement in his afterlife! If this is Heaven, then he'd rather go to the other place. Pip politely tells Henry that he never said this was Heaven... Henry *is* in the other place.
Pip is in a white suit the entire episode, adding to the attempt at misdirection. Clearly he is up to something, despite the incredibly friendly demeanor; besides, it's the Twilight Zone, there has to be a twist at the end. Henry is kind of an idiot to think that after he's done nothing but terrible things throughout his life that he'd make it into Heaven. The first thing in his file is as a 6 year old "slaughtering a puppy." That's a bit much...
Just like I mentioned in "People Are Alike All Over", at least he gets everything he wants... that's a fancy kind of Hell. Granted, that's what the exact thing he doesn't want for an eternity. Since he'll be there for an eternity, I'd imagine he'd find a way to make the most of his predicament eventually, 10, 20, 900 years or so. I'd learn how to play the piano and invent Google... maybe run for Emperor of the Universe (and create Orco as comic relief).
I think the point is, I'd rather live there than LA.
I give this one 3 out of 5.
"A Nice Place to Visit"
Aka, how I feel about Los Angeles. Born and raised there, it's a nice place to visit alright, but I'll be damned if I ever actually live there. This episode carries a similar sentiment.
Henry Valentine is a small time crook, always looking for something to steal, never hitting the big time. During a botched robbery, the police shoot and kill Henry. He awakes to find the police missing and himself alone lying in the street. Confused about what happened, he sees a nice old man in a white suit named Pip, who claims to be Henrys guide in death; a "guardian angel of sorts."
Pip starts to show Henry that he can have anything he wants, whenever he wants; money, women, it's all for Henrys taking. Pip takes Henry to a casino where no matter what he bets, he wins the game. But something bothers Henry... why did he make it into heaven? After having Pip take him to the Hall of Records, it seems as though God made a mistake letting him in... but who is Henry to question the motives of the almighty?
At first, Henry loves all of his winning but gets sick of it after awhile. After all, what's the point of winning if you can't lose? So he calls Pip to complain of his boredom... he wants some excitement in his afterlife! If this is Heaven, then he'd rather go to the other place. Pip politely tells Henry that he never said this was Heaven... Henry *is* in the other place.
Pip is in a white suit the entire episode, adding to the attempt at misdirection. Clearly he is up to something, despite the incredibly friendly demeanor; besides, it's the Twilight Zone, there has to be a twist at the end. Henry is kind of an idiot to think that after he's done nothing but terrible things throughout his life that he'd make it into Heaven. The first thing in his file is as a 6 year old "slaughtering a puppy." That's a bit much...
Just like I mentioned in "People Are Alike All Over", at least he gets everything he wants... that's a fancy kind of Hell. Granted, that's what the exact thing he doesn't want for an eternity. Since he'll be there for an eternity, I'd imagine he'd find a way to make the most of his predicament eventually, 10, 20, 900 years or so. I'd learn how to play the piano and invent Google... maybe run for Emperor of the Universe (and create Orco as comic relief).
I think the point is, I'd rather live there than LA.
I give this one 3 out of 5.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Execution!... and an episode about boxing
I'll try to make these ones quick, and free from excessive typing and words that duplicate and redundify the things I've already said already.
"Execution"
In the old West, an outlaw is about to be hung for being a giant douche. Important to note that giant douches back then are different from now (Murderers vs. Hipsters... I'll let you determine the respective time frames). Anyway, right as they drop him down, and before his neck snaps, he's zipped into the future by none other than the Professor from Gilligans Island (I assume it's before he reaches the Island on that fateful trip). The Professor has created a time machine that yanks a person from their time into the present in order to catch a glimpse of a person from that time frame.
Well, sure enough, the Professor realizes he snatched an Outlaw, and tries to send him back... but Mr. Outlaw dudn't take too kindly to that. After a tussle, the Professor lay dead and Mr. Outlaw sends himself out into the world. But he soon finds himself overwhelmed by the loud noises, horseless carriages, tv's and music going on in the world. He tries to get the Professor to send him back, but he's an idiot cause he killed the Professor. Another thief (from present) comes into the house looking to do some crimes, and instead kills the Outlaw by strangling him with some drape strings (hmmm, ironic?).
The thief, looking for some more crimes accidentally finds himself in the time machine and is zipped back to the exact moment Outlaw #1 was about to have his neck snapped.
The moral here is two-fold:
1. Don't be a criminal
2. If you are and you're about to be hung but you get zipped into the future, don't be a criminal there or some dude will strangle you to death
An extra thought, if he's dead, how did he get to the Island? Only the Professor knows for sure.
I give it 3 coconuts out of 5.
"The Big Tall Wish"
Bolie is a boxer (you'll notice I know his name for this one... because his fn' name is Bolie). Older and not at all wiser, he's still looking for his big break. He's got a match coming up soon that everyone wants to see him do well with. No one more than his young friend who wants nothing more than to see Bolie succeed. The young man has a wish though, that Bolie comes out of his next match unhurt, and a winner.
While watching the fight, the boy watches Bolie get knocked out... so he begins to wish, a big tall wish, that freezes everything in the stadium and switches Bolie out with the other fighter; Bolie has won the match but suspects something strange. The boy comes clean but Bolie can't accept that a wish helped him succeed; he refuses to believe in the magic that he's forgotten so long ago.
By refusing to believe, time rewinds and Bolie again ends up on the mat, a loser. Bolie heads home and talks to the boy who says that he won't believe in wishes or magic anymore. Bolie tells him, "It's not that magic doesn't exist... maybe it's that not enough people believe."
No shit, man... no shit.
Although this episode isn't a top one of mine, the opening segment is pretty cool. In it, Bolie tells the boy about how he doesn't need a scrapbook for all his memories. Every scar has a story, every broken bone, busted eye, it's a road map to his past. That was pretty cool.
In conclusion, 2.5 out of 5 broken noses, just gotta keep the magic!
Ooooh, the Zoomanity!
I didn't finish my post, because Blogger was nice enough to be down last night. Tonight, instead of continuing my recording piece by piece of The Wall, I'll go ahead and get back on track with this... with the next episode I watched that night...
"People Are Alike All Over"
2 Astronauts are preparing for a mission to Mars. They ponder whether or not there will be life on Mars, or other planets and what that life would be like. Would it be intelligent, would they have souls, and emotions and know right from wrong? One of the astronauts believes that God created all life and created it from the same mold. So if all life is created by the same mold, then people, he believes, are all alike, regardless of what planet they live on; the other astronaut isn't so sure.
The scene then transitions to the landing on Mars, and the spaceship crashes on the planet. Scaredy astronaut (here referred to as SA) wakes to find the ship completely wrecked. He screams out for his partner and after a brief search finds him underneath some rubble. Though he's alive, he's badly injured and near death. As the two ponder what the next course of action should be, they start to hear knocking on the ships hull... there's something out there.
His partner tries to get SA to open the hull, perhaps those lifeforms can help him with the medical help he needs... people are alike all over, why wouldn't they help? Unfortunately, SA is too chickenshit and lets his buddy die. After a brief period where he is afraid of being alone, he decides to open up. What he finds is *shocking*...
He finds people who look human and can telepathically change the language he's speaking so that people at home watching the episode don't have some weird alien language to muddle through. Since they are able to read his mind, the alien humans (probably Mexican) create a place for him to live that is strangely reminiscent of a 50's house on Earth (tv version of a 50's version no doubt). They ask if he wouldn't mind staying there for a little bit, he obliges.
SA looks around the house, marveling at it's 50's accuracy, when he goes to look out a window... but there isn't a window there at all. Freaking out, he calls out for them, "What is wrong with you people?!?!" A front wall slides up in front of him and realization settles... SA looks up into the sky and yells out for his buddy, "you were right all along! You were right! People *are* alike all over". Staring at him through the wall are hundreds of Mars Mexicans, oohing and aahing; turns out he's found himself the newest display in the Mars Zoo.
Stephen Hawking recently came out and said if there's intelligent life out there, we should fear it. Damn right we should fear it, Steve, people are alike all over! If they are intelligent enough to travel all the way from whichever planet/galaxy/universe they're from, then they're intelligent enough that the indigenous population is way more trouble than it's worth. But, like all good conquering, there are always needs for zoos (and experimentation).
I digress... I kind of feel bad for SA in this one. He spent the whole episode afraid of ending up alone in space and then his friend dies... then he ends up with these cool alien dudes who put him in a zoo so he's never alone. But I guess in the end it works out for him, cause at least he has a house with good scotch (aliens somehow know how to replicate excellent scotch taste overnight, btw). He's not treated like we treat animals in zoos at least... give them a tire swing, toss some fish in, let them drown you (they're called Killer Whales)... that's all they need.
Anyway, I give this episode a whopping 4/5 wax sculptures of elephants that I used to get from the LA Zoo as a kid. They came out of these vending machines and were really cool actually! You got to watch the sculpture being formed out of wax... it was all very badass (as a kid... when you're like 6)
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Long Live Kevin McCarthy
Though he's dead... died fairly recently I think... (thanks IMDB, he died in September of 2010).
Anyway, I bring him up because he's in todays batch of episodes. Let's start with...
"Long Live Walter Jameson" (featuring Kevin McCarthy!)
So, Kevin McCarthy is Walter Jameson. A professor of history who has a strange, in-depth knowledge of the subject. He leads a nice life and is about to get married to the daughter of his good friend. But his friend starts to suspect a strange thing about Walter Jameson McCarthy, and confronts him about it... he pulls out a history book with pictures from the Civil War and Mr. Kevin Jameson McCarthy just happens to be in it! But how, you might ask?! HOW?!?!
Turns out Jameson is really old... so old that he might have been around since the time of Plato. After initial excitement at the prospect of never growing old (see: you can still die from other causes), and seeing Kevin's disdain toward it, the friend decides that he won't let his daughter marry Kevin. Upon hearing this, Kevin calls out to his fiancee and tells her to get packed, they're leaving tonight and going to get married.
While she's off in a different house packing, he goes up to his study to grab a few things. While he's distracted, an old lady sneaks into the room. She asks her if he remembers... he feigns stupidity but realizes that he used to be married to this woman when she was young and not old ladyish. She tells him that she won't let him hurt anybody anymore... and shoots him in the dick (I assume).
In a page out of a Dorian Gray spin-off, McCarthy begins to age rapidly... until he's nothing but a page of dust.
So, I liked the episode... I like Kevin McCarthy. He's best known from the awesome Invasion of the Body Snatchers original. When him and his friend are talking about the downsides of living forever, you really empathize with him... but then he turns into a selfish asshole all of a sudden... then he dies and he tries to be sympathetic again... like someone SNATCHED HIS BODY!!!!
It's a good episode overall, so I give it 4 out of 5 Pod People
I was going to write more... but I can't now because of stupid work!!!! Oh god! OH GOD!!!!
I'll finish it up tonight! BAM!
Anyway, I bring him up because he's in todays batch of episodes. Let's start with...
"Long Live Walter Jameson" (featuring Kevin McCarthy!)
So, Kevin McCarthy is Walter Jameson. A professor of history who has a strange, in-depth knowledge of the subject. He leads a nice life and is about to get married to the daughter of his good friend. But his friend starts to suspect a strange thing about Walter Jameson McCarthy, and confronts him about it... he pulls out a history book with pictures from the Civil War and Mr. Kevin Jameson McCarthy just happens to be in it! But how, you might ask?! HOW?!?!
Turns out Jameson is really old... so old that he might have been around since the time of Plato. After initial excitement at the prospect of never growing old (see: you can still die from other causes), and seeing Kevin's disdain toward it, the friend decides that he won't let his daughter marry Kevin. Upon hearing this, Kevin calls out to his fiancee and tells her to get packed, they're leaving tonight and going to get married.
While she's off in a different house packing, he goes up to his study to grab a few things. While he's distracted, an old lady sneaks into the room. She asks her if he remembers... he feigns stupidity but realizes that he used to be married to this woman when she was young and not old ladyish. She tells him that she won't let him hurt anybody anymore... and shoots him in the dick (I assume).
In a page out of a Dorian Gray spin-off, McCarthy begins to age rapidly... until he's nothing but a page of dust.
So, I liked the episode... I like Kevin McCarthy. He's best known from the awesome Invasion of the Body Snatchers original. When him and his friend are talking about the downsides of living forever, you really empathize with him... but then he turns into a selfish asshole all of a sudden... then he dies and he tries to be sympathetic again... like someone SNATCHED HIS BODY!!!!
It's a good episode overall, so I give it 4 out of 5 Pod People
I was going to write more... but I can't now because of stupid work!!!! Oh god! OH GOD!!!!
I'll finish it up tonight! BAM!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
A little delayed...
but I was actually working while watching these... and then waited 3 days later for this post. Special thanks to Erik Thacker for reminding me that I'm watching a lot of episodes and need to keep going...
"The Fever"
The first episode I watched that fateful night was The Fever, a kooky little tale about a man, his wife and an evil slot machine. Mr. and Mrs. Kook win a free trip to Las Vegas, but Mr. Kook hates gambling, sees it as a waste of time and money. After scolding his wife about putting money into a slot machine, he ends up in an awkward position with a drunk dude trying to get him to gamble... he ends up pulling the arm of the slot machine and UH OH... the claws of addiction have sunk themselves into Mr. Kook. Soon enough this former gambling hater is stuck at the same slot machine, trying to dig himself out of a debt hole... to the point of insanity.
The dude is a dick so I'm glad he gets his comeuppance; you could say he pays the ultimate price! LOL!!! My favorite part is when he starts hearing the slot machine talk to him, a weird kind of frog/robot voice that calls out to him, "Fraaannnklllinnn". There's even some coin sounds in there for good measure. I give this one 3 out of 5 showgirls.
"Last Flight"
I love this episode. It combines a few of my favorite things... Time Travel and the Twilight Zone. This is an excellent example of time travel because it doesn't produce a paradox effect like so many other stories and movies do (Terminator series, looking at you).
A British pilot from World War I lands at a U.S.A.F. base 42 years later. When he lands, the Commander and his Exec wonder who he is and why he's flying such an old plane. He mentions that he was out on patrol with his squad when he flew into a thick, white cloud. The pilot mentions the name of one of his squad mates which confuses the Commander... because that squad mate is nice a Vice Air Commander person who is scheduled to visit the base that day. That scares the pilot, because his squad mate is supposed to be dead.
With further explanation, the pilot describes how they were ambushed by a squad of German pilots and ditched his squad mate to retreat as a coward. The Exec explains that the squad mate can't be dead because he's due to tour the base, and was one of the heroes of WWI. The pilot realizes that he can change things so he fights his way out to his plane and takes off.
A little while later, the squad mate shows up, now a Vice Air Commander, and the Commander and Exec ask him about the pilot. The VA CC explains that the pilot had flown away, but out of nowhere came, guns blazing, and took out several of the German planes before being killed himself... saving the life of the VA CC.
The story of redemption in a time travel setting is awesome to me. The pilot hates himself throughout the episode for ditching his squad mate, honestly believing that he caused his friends death. When he realizes that he's being given a second chance, he takes it to redeem himself.
This episode deserves a 5 out of 5 John Connors
"Purple Testament"
This one will be quick...
A soldier on the battlefield has been predicting the deaths of his fellow soldiers. When he looks at them he sees a light on their face which signals that they will die. After being told that he is getting transferred away from the front lines, he sees himself in the mirror and catches that his face is shining... instead of fighting against fate, he continues on knowing that he'll be the next one to die.
This is one of many of Serling's anti-war episodes, most of which I agree with. I don't really have much to say about this one. I enjoyed it, but I was also doing paperwork at the time, haha. With that, I award it 4/5 dog tags.
"Elegy"
This is an episode that I'd never seen before. Three astronauts land on a random planet and find there are several buildings that resemble a 1940's style earth. By exploring more, they find several people that are frozen in place. While theorizing why the people are frozen, an old man reveals himself to them. The old man asks them what they'd be most happy doing before explaining what's going on. Each of them unanimously agree that being on the ship on their way home is what they'd be most happy doing. The old man then explains that the planet they've landed on is actually a graveyard and each of the people there is frozen doing the things they are the happiest doing. He is just a caretaker to ensure the graveyard remains undisturbed... which is why he drugs the astronauts... cause with man, there can be no peace. The episode ends with the caretaker dusting off the astronauts, frozen, doing the thing that made them most happy... on the ship on their way home.
For an episode I hadn't seen before, I enjoyed it. It's not like listening to a new song by a band you like, where you have that couple of times before you actually can enjoy it. This episode was liked right away. I give it 3 out of 5 frozen astronauts.
"Mirror Image"
Meh... a chick is waiting for a bus when she realizes that there is a twin of hers interacting with people without her. She then theorizes that a being from the mirror world is trying to escape into her world. She tries to explain this to a gentleman who's also waiting for the bus. Eventually he calls the police to have her committed which he feels bad about. After she gets taken in by the police, he sits down waiting for the bus when he sees somebody steal his bags and run out of the station. He gives chase to the person, only to realize it's a mirror image of himself... trying to escape into our world.
I don't like this episode that much... not sure why, but it just didn't hold my attention all that much. I don't feel like the episode lived up to its premise enough. I give it 2/5-2/5's (cause it's a mirror, get it?!?!!?)
"A World of Difference"
This one is slightly out of order from how I watched it. A man in his office hangs up the phone with his wife and discovers that he's actually an actor on a sound-stage. He spends the entire episode arguing with his real bitch wife and studio execs about how he's not who they think he is. When his agent tells him that they are cancelling production on his movie and are already tearing down the set, he rushes back to the studio and wishes that he could be back with his fake wife. He opens his eyes to see that he's back in a regular office building and his wife is there. He rushes her out of the office and suggests they take an early vacation while he faintly he hears the studio hands tearing down the set.
This episode is like a grownup version of Muppet Babies. I wish I could imagine my Radio Flyer into a time machine to see what Nanny was like in the 50's, just like this guy could imagine himself into a different life. My interest wasn't held throughout the entirety, and though I appreciate the premise, I've seen better variations... like that one time Bobby imagined himself doing something hilarious in his crazy Bobby World. 3 Howie Mandels out of 5.
"The Monsters are Due on Maple Street"
One of the famous ones. Hopefully anyone reading this blog (if anyone) doesn't need me to explain this episode or how brilliant it is. It's such a wonderful bit of commentary that transcends generations. Many other stories have discussed the same topic, each pretty astutely... put a small group of people together, insert some kind of unknown threat, and they'll turn against each other. Check out The Mist for example.
Little side note, I always get pissed at the kid who brings up the space alien talk... he's the one who really gets everyone riled up. That little pissant.
Really, Serling's end quote sums up the brilliance of this episode:
"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own - for the children, and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the Twilight Zone"
This quote was especially poignant considering the current social-political landscape... so much hatred, prejudice and mistrust. We're always looking for the problem, and never looking for a solution. Always focusing on the negativity in our differences, rather than synergistic positivity. It's a sobering thought... Serling was a genius and there's a reason this one is a classic. 5 out of 5.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Twilight Zone - "The Hitchhiker"
As I write these poorly written, and spoiler laden Twilight Zone reviews, I'm also watching the episodes themselves.
So I'm probably going to miss a fair amount of dialogue and plot devices, but I'm sure I'll get the gist of it. He broke his glasses, and somehow that's terrible I think... or something, can't remember.
The Hitchhiker is a cool little episode. In it this lady who was hot for her time is driving cross country and she keeps seeing this creepy guy trying to hitchhike.... and I say creepy because he is. fn'. creepy. A couple of shots she drives away and he steps into frame with his creepy thumb and his creepy ha-smile, and looks directly at us as if to say, "hey, I'm pretty creepy."
He's almost as creepy as Rutger Hauer in that one movie about him hitchhiking. Thankfully there's no semi-truck murdering of Jennifer Jason Leigh (SPOILER!?!?!).
So she keeps seeing him everywhere, and understandably she starts to freak out a little bit and begins to believe that the hitchhiker wants to murder her (I would be too... actually, I'd be wondering why he needs to hitchhike if he can beat me everywhere... just like that damned Tortoise in those Bugs Bunny cartoons). runs out of gas and tries to get help from a local vendor, after shunning her, a sailor on leave helps her get some more gas. As thanks, she gives him a ride. Then she starts to worry about this dude that she picked up... because he probably wants to rape her. Though, this being the 50's, he probably wanted to marry her and force her into servitude (same thing?).
After some conversation, she sees the creepy hitchhiker in the middle of the road and swerves. The sailor then realizes that she's the crazy one, because he doesn't see anybody!? (GASP!). He makes the right decision, and ditches that chick.
So to try to bring herself back to reality, she decides to call her mother... when some strange lady answers the phone and says that Mrs. Crazy Lady is in the hospital because of a nervous breakdown, realization sweeps over the land...
The hitchhiker didn't want to hurt her (or beat her in a race), he was some personification of death waiting for her to realize that she was already dead.
The best part about this episode is the title character played by Leonard Strong. If it were the 50's and I was alive... and I saw this dude after watching this episode, I'd probably shit myself before saying, "I've been dead all along!" Then I'd do something really stupid and kill myself for real. His presence heightens the sense of fear that the main chick feels and in turn the audience. Add in the sense of claustrophobia and exhaustion that anyone who's been on a road trip has felt, and it makes all the difference.
Also, it's nice to see a member of our Armed Forces not fall for a crazy chick. it's a nice change of pace (though not realistic... except for me, cause Chelsea is SANE! WHOOOO!!!)
Overall, I give this episode 3 and a half Hauers up
So I'm probably going to miss a fair amount of dialogue and plot devices, but I'm sure I'll get the gist of it. He broke his glasses, and somehow that's terrible I think... or something, can't remember.
The Hitchhiker is a cool little episode. In it this lady who was hot for her time is driving cross country and she keeps seeing this creepy guy trying to hitchhike.... and I say creepy because he is. fn'. creepy. A couple of shots she drives away and he steps into frame with his creepy thumb and his creepy ha-smile, and looks directly at us as if to say, "hey, I'm pretty creepy."
He's almost as creepy as Rutger Hauer in that one movie about him hitchhiking. Thankfully there's no semi-truck murdering of Jennifer Jason Leigh (SPOILER!?!?!).
So she keeps seeing him everywhere, and understandably she starts to freak out a little bit and begins to believe that the hitchhiker wants to murder her (I would be too... actually, I'd be wondering why he needs to hitchhike if he can beat me everywhere... just like that damned Tortoise in those Bugs Bunny cartoons). runs out of gas and tries to get help from a local vendor, after shunning her, a sailor on leave helps her get some more gas. As thanks, she gives him a ride. Then she starts to worry about this dude that she picked up... because he probably wants to rape her. Though, this being the 50's, he probably wanted to marry her and force her into servitude (same thing?).
After some conversation, she sees the creepy hitchhiker in the middle of the road and swerves. The sailor then realizes that she's the crazy one, because he doesn't see anybody!? (GASP!). He makes the right decision, and ditches that chick.
So to try to bring herself back to reality, she decides to call her mother... when some strange lady answers the phone and says that Mrs. Crazy Lady is in the hospital because of a nervous breakdown, realization sweeps over the land...
The hitchhiker didn't want to hurt her (or beat her in a race), he was some personification of death waiting for her to realize that she was already dead.
The best part about this episode is the title character played by Leonard Strong. If it were the 50's and I was alive... and I saw this dude after watching this episode, I'd probably shit myself before saying, "I've been dead all along!" Then I'd do something really stupid and kill myself for real. His presence heightens the sense of fear that the main chick feels and in turn the audience. Add in the sense of claustrophobia and exhaustion that anyone who's been on a road trip has felt, and it makes all the difference.
Also, it's nice to see a member of our Armed Forces not fall for a crazy chick. it's a nice change of pace (though not realistic... except for me, cause Chelsea is SANE! WHOOOO!!!)
Overall, I give this episode 3 and a half Hauers up
Twilight Zone - "I Shot an Arrow Into the Air"
I plan on watching all of the Twilight Zone episodes over the next two months... sure, I could catch up on any number of books I should be reading, or doing what I'm being paid to do... but I'd rather watch my favorite TV show of all time.
I'm already balls deep in the first season of the show, already having seen two or three that I never seem to catch during the New Year Marathon (that I still watch, despite having all of the episodes on DVD). The Four of Us Are Dying was one that I'd heard of, but didn't remember seeing in its entirety... a man can change the shape of his face to look like anyone he wants and over the course of the episode he becomes 4 different people. Then, he happens to pick a person that someone wants dead... as he lies on the ground, shifting between the different faces, he realizes the... TITLE OF THE EPISODE!
Right now I'm watching "I Shot an Arrow Into The Air". The first manned spacecraft is launched and the monitors back on Earth lose track of it. The space crew then ends up crashing on some kind of deserted planet... or should I say DESERT-ed planet, because it's a desert landscape. Arguing over food and water, and what exactly they should do, the men start to get angry with each other. As is standard fare in several episodes, there's one asshole that goes crazy before the rest of them.
Anyway, long story short... crazy guy ends up taking out the other two survivors and uncovers a twist ending that happens to be incredibly reminiscent of a certain Planet of the Apes.
I like this episode alot because of the way thirst is portrayed... it was filmed in Death Valley, so their sweat and thirst is probably actual. I'm sitting here with a Dr. Pepper in one hand, and a bottle of water in the other, and watching them stumble through the desert makes me feel like I'm going to die of thirst. Also, the pre-PotA's twist ending is pretty cool, minus Dr. Zaius. Especially since Crazy Guy has to live with the fact that he's an idiot.
Finally, I love Serling narrations before, after and during the episode. Just like "Time Enough at Last", he narrates a bit of descriptive monologue while we watch Crazy Guy meander about.
Overall, a good episode, not one of my favorites, but one I'll happily watch.
I give this episode 3 telephone poles out of 5
I'm already balls deep in the first season of the show, already having seen two or three that I never seem to catch during the New Year Marathon (that I still watch, despite having all of the episodes on DVD). The Four of Us Are Dying was one that I'd heard of, but didn't remember seeing in its entirety... a man can change the shape of his face to look like anyone he wants and over the course of the episode he becomes 4 different people. Then, he happens to pick a person that someone wants dead... as he lies on the ground, shifting between the different faces, he realizes the... TITLE OF THE EPISODE!
Right now I'm watching "I Shot an Arrow Into The Air". The first manned spacecraft is launched and the monitors back on Earth lose track of it. The space crew then ends up crashing on some kind of deserted planet... or should I say DESERT-ed planet, because it's a desert landscape. Arguing over food and water, and what exactly they should do, the men start to get angry with each other. As is standard fare in several episodes, there's one asshole that goes crazy before the rest of them.
Anyway, long story short... crazy guy ends up taking out the other two survivors and uncovers a twist ending that happens to be incredibly reminiscent of a certain Planet of the Apes.
I like this episode alot because of the way thirst is portrayed... it was filmed in Death Valley, so their sweat and thirst is probably actual. I'm sitting here with a Dr. Pepper in one hand, and a bottle of water in the other, and watching them stumble through the desert makes me feel like I'm going to die of thirst. Also, the pre-PotA's twist ending is pretty cool, minus Dr. Zaius. Especially since Crazy Guy has to live with the fact that he's an idiot.
Finally, I love Serling narrations before, after and during the episode. Just like "Time Enough at Last", he narrates a bit of descriptive monologue while we watch Crazy Guy meander about.
Overall, a good episode, not one of my favorites, but one I'll happily watch.
I give this episode 3 telephone poles out of 5
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Social Network Games (aka, games that nobody wants to play with you)
Ok, I mentioned this in my very first blog... I think... not sure, I meant to anyway. Social network games are here and they're being played a lot. The system that Farmville made famous, the time sink style of game play is here to stay.
It's really annoying.
Mafia Wars, and Mob Wars and any other kind of wars... play a little bit then wait for a couple of hours until you get enough energy to do some more jobs. Or, say you want to build a castle... it'll take 2 days for the castle to be built... 2 days, real time. Oh, and make sure your crops don't die.
Meh, you know, I've played these games, and got sucked into them. I guess my problem isn't that these games exist because there is a market for the microtransaction game; rather, I think my problem is that there are sooo many of them coming out in lieu of a different style game... more social networky I guess. On top of that, they are coming out with games that prey on your nostalgia and brand appeal.
Off the top of my head, Family Feud, Price is Right, Monopoly, Oregon Trail, Madden, FIFA. Of those four, Price is Right came closest to a different style of game, a more socially oriented game. The other three, you all play by yourself. Think about this for a second, aside from sending your friends gifts and visiting their game board, you never actually interact with each other.
Call of Duty, there's a social game... Civ V, there's a social game... shit, Ikari Warriors 2 for the NES is a social game; you're actually interacting with people. Right now I'm sitting across from my wife; she's playing some random game and I'm testing out this Monopoly game... even if she were playing the Monopoly game too, we'd still be playing the games by ourselves.
Facebook games have the potential to allow us to interact with each other better... Myspace is the ghetto of the internet now, but they had some cool games back in the day. I used to play one with my buddy where there were two towers with numbers as the blocks, and the point was to destroy the numbered blocks to the point where the towers would fall down... bam, you win. You would take turns, and after a particularly damaging shot, you'd talk shit to the person.
In comparison, I play the Madden Facebook game with him... I play a game against him one time a day... and when I say play, I mean I click one button, the software calculates the outcome and I either win or lose. Then I send him a message like, "oh damn, I beat you, LOL!". Then two minutes later I get a status update from him, "SNAP, I BEAT YOU NOW!?!?!"
One time a day we get to "play" this game together... if I got Madden 2011, we could play all day.
I do have hope for the future though... I'm hoping that Sid Meier's Civilization Network game that is in beta will change this trend up a little bit. I love the Civ games, and it's an awesome feeling playing with your buddies, starting wars with the computer and then having them steal your allies' worker (and then have him start a war with EVERYONE AROUND YOU so they attack you). Or work with someone the entire game and then nuke their main city... I love it, haha. Hopefully Civilization Network fosters the social network aspect to make it a legitimate social experience.
Otherwise expect to see "Brandon needs you to help build the Hanging Gardens!"
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Add this to the list of things I wish I'd thought of first
I just found a few pretty cool sites that go along with that whole digital recording spectrum of conversation. Awesome really. I haven't been able to look at them too deeply, but the idea is great.
Digital bands.
On these sites you can digitally collaborate with friends or strangers in order to write music. How great is that?
This option lets me avoid having to live near people that I'm afraid of meeting with personally (will they rape me or inject me with a roofie and rape me?) or figuring out where to meet to play or what songs to jam out too beforehand, or if they'll come up behind me with chloroform, put me to sleep and rape me with their instrument(s). Really, it takes the whole nervous meeting new people thing out of the equation.
I do wonder how the sites deal with issues if digital bands get bigger than the sites themselves. Do they maintain distribution rights? I'm sure I can wade through the terms of use to see what control they have over the music produced on/for their sites
Like I said, I'll have to look at these sites a little closer but in the meantime, you can check them out for yourselves.
If you find out anything interesting, let me know. Or if you have any experience on these sites, give me a shout too, I'd love to know how they worked out for you.
UPDATE
Instead of adding a new post, I decided to add to this one.
Anyway, so I've been taking a look at MyBandOnline to see what the deal was. Pretty cool concept, actually. Collaborations are in the form of projects
. After signing up for the website, you can take a look at some of the projects they have on the website, and also see that a lot of them haven't been touched in awhile, which is a shame.
Since I'm now intrigued by the website, I decided to see what the capability was.
First thing I did was browse through several of the projects in order to find one that had several mixes and tracks to choose from (tracks are individual building blocks of larger mixes). Once I found one that had a few mixes to mess with, I decided to give them a go. I went ahead and created a new folder in my Downloads specifically for each track and mix and stored them there.
What's pretty cool is that you can listen to the tracks and mixes before you even download them. So before I even downloaded any of them, I weeded through the ones that I didn't like. For example, there was a track of just singing, and it sounded terrible. Simple enough, I just didn't download it.
So I downloaded three tracks - a basic mix with rhythm guitar, bass and drums, a lead guitar, and lead vocals. After saving them, I went ahead and opened up Reaper.
Once I did that, I added the basic guitar/bass/drum mix, the lead guitar and singing.
From here is where you can do all the cool mixing stuff. You can add effects to each track or raise the gains. The primary mix is actually already pretty good by itself. So instead of fudging around with that too much, I'd rather go about messing with the lead and singing tracks.
The lead guitar sounds alright, but it drowns out the vocals a little bit in certain parts so I lowered the volume on that.
The vocals already have some added effects on the track... which kind of leads me to a point about vocals: don't add effects to vocal tracks when you're initially recording them, add them after.
Anyway, so after mixing you can convert the entire Reaper file into an mp3 and upload it back to the MyBandOnline workspace. From there, other folks can view it and add any comments.
Another thing you can do is add your own instruments or singing to the song, and add those to the website. I just chose mixing because it was the least amount of effort required from me tonight (plus, Mrs. Me is sleeping, I didn't want to wake her).
Not that I ended up adding anything to the project, but you can take a look at what exists already here.
If you're a musician, and like me, don't have anybody near you that plays music and you're afraid of in-person rejection, this is a reasonable solution to collaboration. Plus, you can always facelessly tell someone that they're a dickface and their mom is a whore without physical retribution, ala XBOX live.
Narcissism (plus more words in parenthesis)
I know a blog entitled LOLERBLOG implies that things written here will be funny. Man, I wish I could be funny on command, but if I could do that I'd end up hanging out with Ryan Stiles on the hit tv show, "Whose Line is it Anyway?"
I spoke to my fellow bloggetter (located here) about things to add to my blog. I talked about how I really have no focus for what I want on here. It would help to know those types of things so I can write about a fairly consistent line of topics. I spoke about the whole jack of all trades things in the music post a few days ago, and I think that's where my problem comes in... cause I can't speak about any one thing consistently as an expert.
Though I imagine most bloggers aren't experts in much of anything. Really, it's just a bunch of people getting together, not getting paid (for the most part) writing about shit they mostly know nothing about. Just to hear the click, click, clicking of the keyboard, throwing the words on screen trying to get the attention of people that are much too busy reading or doing more important things.
Uh... what was my point again? Not sure. We're all a bit narcissistic, I think... some are just more likely to write a blog.
Monday, February 7, 2011
ROFLCOPTERS ON LOLLERSKATES!!! (or how I learned to not talk about the title of this post in the body of the post)
First things first...
This guy is awesome.
Second things right now.
So I talked last night about songwriting that sucks... I'll use that as my segue to talk about home made music.
Home made recordings are easy as hell to do. I'm really surprised by the amount of musicians who are, not necessarily afraid of recording, but intimidated by it. I can't pretend that I'm good at recording, I'd like to be an Audio Engineer (as one of many post-Air Force careers), but I know the basics. I know HOW to make a recording better; boosting the gains, adjusting EQ, multi-tracking, redubbing, etc. I just get lazy when I'm working on my own music, because it's only me in a downstairs bedroom, trying to put multiple instruments together to form a coherent
piece of music; even then I get lazy. Jack of all instruments, master of none.
But that's just it, I'm not very good at recording or writing songs necessarily, but I can throw something together, record it, and be proud of it. It's a skill that not many people have; not because they can't, but because they don't know how.
The first recordings I ever made were on Acid Pro 3.0, and the microphone I used was a crappy 5 dollar computer mic from the BX. On my Ibanez Acoustic-Electric, I put together covers and some original stuff, and it sounded like shit. My dorm room at the time was horribly insulated, and the reverb was terrible. Add that to my fish tank in the background with Habanero, my badass Oscar. Every once in awhile I'll catch one of those early recordings, and although there are some cool musical phrases, the quality is nigh unbearable.
There was a reason I used my acoustic alot in those early recordings though, as easy as it was to record using that cheap mic, it didn't pick up live electric guitar and distortion that well. I listened to a cover of Hotel California... ugh, I listened to the whole thing and it sounded awful (and my singing... I don't try singing in songs all that much anymore). But it was something, a look back at my life when I was sitting in a dorm room drinking "non-alcoholic" beverages all the time.
Plus, it was totally easy.
Here's the process in a nutshell:
1. Figure out what you're going to record first - guitar, bass, drums, vocals (drums and bass are usually the first things, as they're your rhythm) (I don't use a metronome, because I'm horrible at it)
2. Record 1 track of music - Example: Guitar
3. Record another track - Example: Vocals
BAM! You've got yourself a recording. That's literally how easy it is. Improving the quality is a completely separate topic (and one I'm not really in a position to elaborate on, haha).
If you want to record, the best suggestion I have is just dive in. Don't let all those knobs and menu options intimidate you. You'll learn it as you go. You don't have to be a master of recording to make something that you'll feel accomplished with afterwards.
Anyway, I bring this up because first things first guy up there and I always wanted to have a famous band together. More Ballz Than Most or Impatient Cow were our chosen names. Then I moved away, and it became a pipe dream... it still is, really. But the beauty of recording, especially, digitally, allows us to collaborate and make music together again. It's as simple as finding the same recording software and emailing the tracks/projects to each other for editing.
The prospect has always been an exciting one for me, so I just have to wait for him to buy some guitar cords, he already has a good mic (for his broadcasting), and hopefully we'll put something together!
For beginner and intermediate audio technicians there's a really great recording program out there called Reaper. It has a ton of functionality in it that rivals some of the higher end software (see: ProTools, Ableton Live, etc). The best part about it is it's free to download the evaluation version of the software that doesn't expire. Check them out here: Reaper
Finally, if you want to hear some of the crappy songs I've written/recorded, check them out here: Text-based Misconception
I'm especially proud of Senorita Girl, if for anything, the line that goes "her eyes spoke to me like white peoples do."
I'm out, yo!
This guy is awesome.
Second things right now.
So I talked last night about songwriting that sucks... I'll use that as my segue to talk about home made music.
Home made recordings are easy as hell to do. I'm really surprised by the amount of musicians who are, not necessarily afraid of recording, but intimidated by it. I can't pretend that I'm good at recording, I'd like to be an Audio Engineer (as one of many post-Air Force careers), but I know the basics. I know HOW to make a recording better; boosting the gains, adjusting EQ, multi-tracking, redubbing, etc. I just get lazy when I'm working on my own music, because it's only me in a downstairs bedroom, trying to put multiple instruments together to form a coherent
piece of music; even then I get lazy. Jack of all instruments, master of none.
But that's just it, I'm not very good at recording or writing songs necessarily, but I can throw something together, record it, and be proud of it. It's a skill that not many people have; not because they can't, but because they don't know how.
The first recordings I ever made were on Acid Pro 3.0, and the microphone I used was a crappy 5 dollar computer mic from the BX. On my Ibanez Acoustic-Electric, I put together covers and some original stuff, and it sounded like shit. My dorm room at the time was horribly insulated, and the reverb was terrible. Add that to my fish tank in the background with Habanero, my badass Oscar. Every once in awhile I'll catch one of those early recordings, and although there are some cool musical phrases, the quality is nigh unbearable.
There was a reason I used my acoustic alot in those early recordings though, as easy as it was to record using that cheap mic, it didn't pick up live electric guitar and distortion that well. I listened to a cover of Hotel California... ugh, I listened to the whole thing and it sounded awful (and my singing... I don't try singing in songs all that much anymore). But it was something, a look back at my life when I was sitting in a dorm room drinking "non-alcoholic" beverages all the time.
Plus, it was totally easy.
Here's the process in a nutshell:
1. Figure out what you're going to record first - guitar, bass, drums, vocals (drums and bass are usually the first things, as they're your rhythm) (I don't use a metronome, because I'm horrible at it)
2. Record 1 track of music - Example: Guitar
3. Record another track - Example: Vocals
BAM! You've got yourself a recording. That's literally how easy it is. Improving the quality is a completely separate topic (and one I'm not really in a position to elaborate on, haha).
If you want to record, the best suggestion I have is just dive in. Don't let all those knobs and menu options intimidate you. You'll learn it as you go. You don't have to be a master of recording to make something that you'll feel accomplished with afterwards.
Anyway, I bring this up because first things first guy up there and I always wanted to have a famous band together. More Ballz Than Most or Impatient Cow were our chosen names. Then I moved away, and it became a pipe dream... it still is, really. But the beauty of recording, especially, digitally, allows us to collaborate and make music together again. It's as simple as finding the same recording software and emailing the tracks/projects to each other for editing.
The prospect has always been an exciting one for me, so I just have to wait for him to buy some guitar cords, he already has a good mic (for his broadcasting), and hopefully we'll put something together!
For beginner and intermediate audio technicians there's a really great recording program out there called Reaper. It has a ton of functionality in it that rivals some of the higher end software (see: ProTools, Ableton Live, etc). The best part about it is it's free to download the evaluation version of the software that doesn't expire. Check them out here: Reaper
Finally, if you want to hear some of the crappy songs I've written/recorded, check them out here: Text-based Misconception
I'm especially proud of Senorita Girl, if for anything, the line that goes "her eyes spoke to me like white peoples do."
I'm out, yo!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Mp3 Rediscovery
So I found one of my old CD's the other day... one of those old compact discs that you used to put tons of "legally paid for" mp3 songs on that only worked with a few select players? Well I happened upon a song I hadn't heard in awhile.
A little song called "Popular" by a little band called Nada Surf.
Not sure if you remember the song, but aside from the chorus, it's mostly spoken word. As I listened to this particular song over and over, I thought, "I wonder if this dude wrote these words or found them in a book or something."
Well with a little more research, I found that the spoken word portions were ripped straight from an old 1964 etiquette book by Gloria Winters (a teenage actress) called "Penny's Guide to Teen-Age Charm and Popularity."
It's a clever song in that respect.
I'd love to find an obscure piece of literature and incorporate it into a song... rather, I'd love to incorporate it effectively. I'm sure I can write a song about Asimov's Laws of Robotics and somehow tell a story, but man, would it be a piece of shit.
That's one cool thing about some of the older bands though, and something I feel is lacking in the music scene nowadays... storytelling. Not the I love you, you love this girl, girl doesn't love you back type songwriting... but bands like Led Zepplin, Rush, Deep Purple and Blue Oyster Cult, telling actual stories with their music. They utilized literature (like Tolkien for example) in their writing, and enhanced it with some spectacular music. I'm sure that skill-set exists somewhere still, but I'm too busy avoiding Poker Face to search it out.
Fin
P.S. As an added bonus, on that old cd I found one of the best covers of Enjoy the Silence by Failure, an under-appreciated band from the mid-90's. Give that a listen if you're up to it.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
A Brief Introduction
Hello everyone (if anyone)!
Not really sure what I want to accomplish with this Blog... not sure I'm going to spell everything and grammaticiancize my sentences right; by proper English standards anyhow. I will say though that I should probably be in bed right now.
I mean, let me just say that what I'm writing as I sit here, with an Extenze commercial in the background, is nothing really important. You might start reading this sentence, or the last one, or any in the future and say to yourself, "wow, I'm really wasting my fn' time"
Let me just say, you're right. You really, really are wasting your time.
That's the beauty of the internet though. You browse around, you look for stupid videos, laugh about that damned E-Trade baby (am I the only one who dislikes those commercials?), and wait for energy to recharge in whatever Facebook style game you're playing. All the while, there's other stuff out there that you could be doing... I'm not going to list all the things... things like books and stuff... but you could be doing them.
Uh... but you can read the random shit I write if you want to too. I'm okay with it if you are.
Not sure what the point is... Here's a list of things I thought about writing about since I started writing out the earlier stuff.
1. I wanted to elaborate on annoying Facebook games. Not the standard, "I hate getting popups, waah waaah" because you can ignore that shit, stop being lazy. Rather, I wanted to elaborate on the games themselves; the whole wait-or-pay-to-play style games (WoPtP from here on out)
2a. This new game that came out called Magicka. It was developed by a small Swedish software company. By small, I mean a total of around 9 people. Minus all the bugs/technical issues, it's a pretty awesome game.
2b. Evidently I'm a shitty wizard
3. Whatever else comes to mind while I'm working, the whim whimsies me, and I feel like writing something.
Ok, that's it for now... like I said, I really should go to bed. I need to wake up early tomorrow so I can do some more running; which I guess would be a #4.
Buh bye
(P.S. Probably not that brief, huh?)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)