"People Are Alike All Over"
2 Astronauts are preparing for a mission to Mars. They ponder whether or not there will be life on Mars, or other planets and what that life would be like. Would it be intelligent, would they have souls, and emotions and know right from wrong? One of the astronauts believes that God created all life and created it from the same mold. So if all life is created by the same mold, then people, he believes, are all alike, regardless of what planet they live on; the other astronaut isn't so sure.
The scene then transitions to the landing on Mars, and the spaceship crashes on the planet. Scaredy astronaut (here referred to as SA) wakes to find the ship completely wrecked. He screams out for his partner and after a brief search finds him underneath some rubble. Though he's alive, he's badly injured and near death. As the two ponder what the next course of action should be, they start to hear knocking on the ships hull... there's something out there.
His partner tries to get SA to open the hull, perhaps those lifeforms can help him with the medical help he needs... people are alike all over, why wouldn't they help? Unfortunately, SA is too chickenshit and lets his buddy die. After a brief period where he is afraid of being alone, he decides to open up. What he finds is *shocking*...
He finds people who look human and can telepathically change the language he's speaking so that people at home watching the episode don't have some weird alien language to muddle through. Since they are able to read his mind, the alien humans (probably Mexican) create a place for him to live that is strangely reminiscent of a 50's house on Earth (tv version of a 50's version no doubt). They ask if he wouldn't mind staying there for a little bit, he obliges.
SA looks around the house, marveling at it's 50's accuracy, when he goes to look out a window... but there isn't a window there at all. Freaking out, he calls out for them, "What is wrong with you people?!?!" A front wall slides up in front of him and realization settles... SA looks up into the sky and yells out for his buddy, "you were right all along! You were right! People *are* alike all over". Staring at him through the wall are hundreds of Mars Mexicans, oohing and aahing; turns out he's found himself the newest display in the Mars Zoo.
Stephen Hawking recently came out and said if there's intelligent life out there, we should fear it. Damn right we should fear it, Steve, people are alike all over! If they are intelligent enough to travel all the way from whichever planet/galaxy/universe they're from, then they're intelligent enough that the indigenous population is way more trouble than it's worth. But, like all good conquering, there are always needs for zoos (and experimentation).
I digress... I kind of feel bad for SA in this one. He spent the whole episode afraid of ending up alone in space and then his friend dies... then he ends up with these cool alien dudes who put him in a zoo so he's never alone. But I guess in the end it works out for him, cause at least he has a house with good scotch (aliens somehow know how to replicate excellent scotch taste overnight, btw). He's not treated like we treat animals in zoos at least... give them a tire swing, toss some fish in, let them drown you (they're called Killer Whales)... that's all they need.
Anyway, I give this episode a whopping 4/5 wax sculptures of elephants that I used to get from the LA Zoo as a kid. They came out of these vending machines and were really cool actually! You got to watch the sculpture being formed out of wax... it was all very badass (as a kid... when you're like 6)
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